TAS: A Fairy Tale

There is a post to explain the name of this blog but I left out one key story that prompted the popularization of my nickname "Sopa."  So let me quickly tell you how it happened...

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Once upon a time, in a land called TAS in the kingdom of AXA Assistance USA worked a humble maiden by the name of Vanessa with a simple last name of only 4 letters, Soto.  Her full name was nothing difficult to pronounce or complicated to spell.  Vanessa Soto.  Everyone she ever crossed paths with could say it, spell it, whisper it, and some times even sing it.

That is until that fateful Monday morning at 11am when evil was lurking through the phone lines.  As she typed away entering cover stamps and reviewing eligibility documents, a most ominous ring tone came through her phone.  Rrrring... Rrriing........riiiinnnng.

Ms. Soto answers the phone as is standard procedure by the order of the Grand Magistrate in Quality.  "Thank you for calling Top Travel Assistance.  My name is Vanessa.  Can you please provide your membership number?"  Perfect tone, perfect pronunciation, and perfect pace.

The ogre on the other line, however, has a raspy voice and demands to speak with Ms. Rita Lopez.  "Where is she?  I need to speak to her about my claim.  I need to get answers right now or I will blow your house DOWN!"

The lovely damsel quickly took action and explained to the fearsome monster that Ms. Lopez was unavailable and his claim could not be processed until all the eligibility documents were in place.  Per the notes provided by the magic mirror called Liberty, he was still missing his E-ticket.  Despite the delays in communications, the ogre could still submit his E-ticket before the expiration date when the Curse of Denial was applied.

The ogre was astounded by the information collected by his puny ears.  So much so that he could not think of anything else to do but to agree to the next steps.  The maiden's voice was so enchanting that he was disoriented and could not distinguish between different vowels in the Castillian language.  He asked the maiden for her name and the maiden could not deny him the honor.  The exchange went like this...

Ogres with poor hearing can seriously damage a person's name.

Maiden - "Vanessa Soto, sir."
Ogre - "Vanessa Sopa?"
Maiden - "No, sir.  Vanessa Soto.  S-O-T-O.  Soto."
Ogre - "Ooh ok.  Vanessa SOPA."
Call ended.

Moments later...

A letter handwritten by the ogre arrived by her favorite owl, Fax, and in it he described his gratitude for all the excellent service.  Everything seemed well until the maiden was tied to her seat by the curse the ogre attached to the header of the letter.  It was not addressed to Vanessa Soto.  It was addressed to  Vanessa Soto SOPA.  The ogre changed the maiden's life forever with that letter.  Everyone who read that letter could not remember her name any longer.  From that day forward, her first name was dropped and only her misspelled last name existed. SOPA.
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This one was for my good friend, Christian Velasquez AKA Crispy.  You're hilarious, buddy.


I don't want to make this post much longer but I'll take a moment to remind you all that I have about 5 work days left.  Approximately 14 days left before I leave for Uganda.  I am selling some of my items to earn some extra dollars for my emergency plane ticket I might need to take to get home.  Inquire by email, phone, text, fax, or owl.  I have a movie night happening tomorrow and a series of beer nights at Bennigan's.  You can find me there and in Mexico in the next two weeks.

Until next time. Thank you for calling.